Not going to lie, I'm giving you the milk, the cow, the farm and the farmer's slutty wife with this one.
If you're looking to be a Fashionville citizen of note, there are a few things you need to know about etiquette at our most frequent social, the Press Preview. The equivalent of an early film screening with possible commentary by the director, press previews come in three categories. The first is the blogger preview, which attract a mix of somewhat influentials to no-name digitals with less influence than that of Jennifer Hudson on Mama June (that was a Weight Watchers joke for those who missed it), who mainly attend in an attempt to get free shit and seem relevant to their 156 Twitter fans, not gonna lie, about 70% of the previews I get invited too and conveniently fail to attend fall in this category.
The second is the editors preview, which is normally reserved for bloggers, which have managed to get enough respect to have their highly "edited" Instas matter to PRs, and magazine editors, which for those who don't know are the creators of these printed, glossy, semi-books with photos and text which can be found on something called a newsstand, which can best be described as a physical world version of a Bloglovin feed (I've heard rumors that these "magazines" can also be mailed to your home, but much like my Aunt "Fuck the World" Flow, they only come once a month).
The final type of press preview is the VIP preview, which are normally booked by celebs, their stylists or Anna Wintour. These include some embarrassing, yet totally appropriate amount of direct mouth to ass kissing by PRs and designers, who value these appointments above all as they lead to the kind of placements which get them gold stars on their achievement report.
Last night, I went to a press preview for Anna Sui's collaboration with Tumi, a collection which features some of her classic prints on travel bags by the luggage giant. The event was accompanied with a conversation between the designer and Mickey Boardman of Paper Magazine fame, a queen in the most royal of ways, who always seems on and ready for a naughty dish of gossip stew. I really need to spend more time getting to know him, I feel like he's the type of person who'd have lots of great stories of when the Lower East Side was a cesspool of sex, all night partying and hardcore drugs, aka, any Friday at The Cock.
I spent most of the night comparing shoulder killers with the rightfully appointed, Miss Know-it-all of handbags, Meg from Purse Blog. She was carrying a dark green Balenciaga, while her marketing girl had a Givenchy Pandora Pepe bag, which has been on my lust list since spotting as sky blue version at Barneys a few weeks ago.
Later, I posed with Anna Sui, cause having pictures with famous people on Facebook is the best way to remind your high school friends that you are way cooler than you were in Cleveland (just me?). We small talked about the collection and my desire to use her for a photo opp.
For those looking for a little more of a rundown version of my secrets, I'll be kind enough to share, I'm just that type of girl.
1. Know what you're going to, if it's a blogger preview, prepare to be underwhelmed, if it's an editor preview, give yourself a pat on the back, you're on your way up, if it's a VIP preview, consider yourself a fucking celebrity, hire a publicist immediately and insist that other bloggers not look you in the eye when in your presence.
2. If the brand is one you'd like to eventually work with, make friendlies with the PR, ask for hashtags, get their direct twitter accounts, take lots of instas, tweet a goodbye, write a post in a timely fashion, and send the link to the post directly to the PR. Most bloggers forget to do this, so don't. Remember, not every blog gets caught by Google. If they don't see your story, they may forget to invite you in the future.
3. Walking previews alone is stupid. Seriously, just stupid. Don't be a wallflower, you're in a room of people all working towards similar goals in one of the friendliest industries in the world, try to make friends [she says without a sarcastic tone].
4. Spend as much time as possible with the most important people. PRs, designers, editors and bloggers big enough to have a team should be first on your target list. These people warrant attention by association and standing next to them/chatting them up with blissfully well spoken conversation can lead to a possible Getty shot by a photographer. Always stand to right of them in photos. I've learned the hard way that it sucks to be the "and friend" following a more famous person's photo caption.
5. Wear something cute, but not slutty, unless you're a slut and it's not casual friday. I chose a vintage jacket from the motherland, an Elizabeth & James nearly floor length dress purchased an Neiman Marcus in the Bal Harbour Shops and Sigerson Morrison booties. Jewelry by Erin Wasson, and a necklace by Eddie Borgo. Hair, as always, by Arrojo.
Thinking, damnit, I should have gotten more photos with Anna...