Kate Upton Teaches Me the Art of the Fatty, Fatty Fat Face
Jan 02, 2013 - by Beca Alexander
Models, they're just like us... in that sometimes a paparazzi shoots them to look like bloated whales and they are forced to scour the internet and beg people to untag them in Facebook group shots before anyone sees them...wait, does that only happen to me?
"Where's Your Chin?" is a question that've come to loath since taking over on the reigns at Fashion Indie. Now I'm a "fashion blogger" and find myself forced to pose like some wannabe model for shots which find a home on the pages of this love letter to the fashion industry, my real life story of climbing the totem pole. It's a question that my creative co-conspirator and husband, Daniel Saynt, often yells as he plays photographer for our shoots. It's normally taunted when I position my head in a way that gives me a quadruple bypass chin and makes me look like I'm an immediate family member of the Honey Boo Boo clan.
It's hard enough to be a woman in the fashion industry, constantly being flooded with images of size zero 16 year olds, walking down runways in gowns you can't afford to own, by designers obsessed with beauty which rarely escape the confines of borderline pre-pubescence. To someone who's job it is to be in the public eye, who's supposed to get noticed and entertain a following, it's just terrorizing to think of the things that others might think while viewing my photos and commenting on my "something extra".
Kate Upton, the model who shot to fame after getting shot doing the Cat Daddy for Terry Richardson, recently made statements against the industry and the limits that a model with a little extra junk in the trunk must come to terms with when going from Sports Illustrated to Vogue. While I must applaud a model who's made it up the food chain through a viral video which has already hit 4.7 million views, I feel that there's little that Kate or anyone can do about the industries obsession with zero.
It sucks, but any girls with a little curve have to work extra hard to keep their milkshake in the "bringing the boys to the yard" business. Recently, I twitter battled with nightlife photographer/Joe Francis-in-training Kirill Bichutsky of Kirill Was Here, a man who's made a name for himself by getting girls drenched in champagne and talking dirty to his 28k followers. He called me a "fat fashionista" and said I had a "blubbery vagina", I said girls need to "pack a set of tweezers, a magnifying glass and half a Kleenex" to have sex with his baby dick.
Overall, a good time. Aside from all the fan tits he receives, there are really a lot of bored girls out there, the future Richardson also posts gems like this, in which he's about to be manhandled by a horseman. Some people might call this genius...
The heated debate made me think about the way we get objectified and how women's lib got bitch slapped by Britney Spears and how my industry is the biggest offender of all and I just said fuck it. I'm not gonna play. I'm just gonna love myself most of all.
So here's a few shots I'm not happy with, and that Kate Upton isn't happy about, but which show our flaws, mostly my mysterious fupa and disappearing chin and her ability to look like a fatty, fatty fat face between photoshoots.
Reason for sharing? I'm a glutton for pain and Magnolia's Bakery...