INDIE NEWSROOM: Gaga Turns Her Nose Up at Coke...Taxpayer Dollars Fund Gay Penis Size Study...Not -So-Friendly Friends with Benefits

- While chatting with Howard Stern, Lady Gaga discussed how she coped with the stresses of chasing The Fame and suggested her Monsters don't follow in her 12-inch tranny-heeled footsteps: "To any little sweethearts that are listening ... don't touch [cocaine], it's the devil." Some say devil, I say where's the rolled up Franklin? [MTV] - Hermès apparently wanted to tap noted sculptor Helmut Lang to replace Jean Paul Gaultier after the latter left in 2010, but the former wanted to shred clothes, not make them. [Fashionologie] - New York's kinda foxy governor, Andrew Cuomo, reportedly hired the stylist from girlfriend Sandra Lee's "cooking show," Semi-Homemade Cooking to do his makeup during his campaign. To the tone of $1383.86 [NYT] - Speaking of money well-spent, the National Institutes of Health used tax dollars to conduct a study on gay men's penis size and how it effects their sexual health: Those who felt they had an inadequate penis are more likely to be psychologically troubled and anal receptive—or "bottoms"—while those with larger penises usually identify themselves as "tops." Meanwhile, a quick run-through of Manhunt would have unearthed the same conclusion. [Jezebel] - Amancio Ortega, the richest man in Spain, is stepping down as chairman of Zara, which he founded in 1975. [The Cut] - While at the premiere of Friends with Benefits, sounds like one WWD reporter was less than enthused about stars Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake's behavior. To wit: Mila Kunis wore a red, tight Lanvin dress and the watchful gaze of an exceptionally beefy bodyguard, who dissuaded revelers from speaking with her. “She doesn’t want to talk,” the guard explained, “to anybody. ” And: Timberlake didn’t particularly seem to want to be with anybody. Visibly pained, the singer-turned-actor had forced a mile-wide grin for the press on the red carpet. “I think it’s a good movie?” Timberlake offered through clenched teeth. Sounds like someone hasn't had any friends or benefits in a while.  [WWD] - Borders, my favorite bookstore chain -- suck it, Barnes & Noble --  is closing all of its 399 stores, including the six in NYC because no one reads anymore. [Racked]